VOICE OVER: Samantha Clinch WRITTEN BY: Sammie Purcell
#20: One Parent Is Way Too Involved
If teen movies are any indication, we should always be having extremely personal talks with our parents. Well, we don’t know about you, but back in high school we rarely shared anything about our personal lives with the parental units. From Stanley Tucci and Patricia Clarkson’s cool parent vibes in “Easy A,” or Larry Miller’s pregnant-belly-pushing dad in “10 Things I Hate About You,” teen movie parents are always up in their kids’ business. In real life, teenagers might share their thoughts and feelings with their parents. But topics like their dating lives, sex lives, and high school drama stays pretty tight-lipped.
#19: Is Anyone Going to Class?
Think about your favorite scenes from your favorite high school movies. You might think of the prom scenes from “10 Things I Hate About You” or “She’s All That.” Or maybe you think about the Halloween party in “Mean Girls.” However, we’re willing to bet none of you think of scenes that actually involve any teenagers going to class. Now, there are notable exceptions, such as the math class scenes in “Mean Girls,” or Cher and Dionne in gym class in “Clueless.” But let’s face it, class is probably the most boring part of high school, so it makes sense it’s not a focus. However, the lack of class had us all believing we would be hanging on the quad much more than we did.
#18: Taking Down the Popular Kids
In high school in real life, there are definitely cliques to contend with. And sure, sometimes cliques involve the popular kids, and sometimes those popular kids can be jerks. But if you just had teen movies to go by, you would think there was a lot more clique warfare in high school than there actually is. And it’s almost always the nerds trying to take down the school’s elite. This conflict usually arises between teen girls, such as the central spats in movies like “Mean Girls” and “Sleepover.” But boys can get in on the action too, like the nerds versus O’Bannion in “Dazed and Confused.” Sometimes, the conflict even crosses genders. Here’s looking at you, “John Tucker Must Die.”
#17: Spike in Popularity
Popularity isn’t usually quite as coveted in real life as it is in most teen movies. But when someone does achieve genuine popularity, it usually comes gradually. Cinematic popularity, however, comes on much more quickly. Think of the trajectory of most of your favorite teen movies. In “Mean Girls,” Cady usurps Regina as the queen bee. In “The Princess Diaries,” the school finds out Mia is a princess and her social capital catapults overnight. The events of teen movies are obviously more dramatic than our real lives, so it makes sense that big and small moments alike would make for a change in popularity. Still, it made us believe our position in the social hierarchy could change at any moment.
#16: Always Partying
Think back to how you spent your time in high school. You’re probably remembering a healthy mix of homework, hanging out with friends, sporting events, and the like. We’re also willing to bet there are a couple of memories where you were doing something you most likely weren’t supposed to be doing. Whether that be drugs or alcohol, we’re not so naive as to think teenagers don’t indulge sometimes. But if movies like “Dazed and Confused” or “Booksmart” are anything to go by, teenagers spend anywhere from 80 to 100% of their time with illegal substances. High school in real life, however, is a lot less wild than that.
#15: The Outcasts
In every teen movie, the cliches of cliques rear their ugly heads. One of the most reliable of all cliques, however, is the outcasts. The outcasts are different from the nerds. They’re not necessarily into school or any other particular thing. They just don’t fit in with anybody else. “Mean Girls” portrays this beautifully with its famous cafeteria map, but the outcasts also make appearances in movies like “The Craft” and “Superbad.” Maybe most famously, the outcast makes an important appearance in “The Breakfast Club.” Allison Reynolds, we’ll love you and your head shake forever.
#14: Senior Year Is THE Year
Look. We know that senior year is an important part of any kid’s high school trajectory. It’s your last year before college, so it’s definitely going to leave its mark no matter what. But, we’re a little confused about how much emphasis is placed on senior year in the teen cinema canon. In movies like “Booksmart,” teenagers lament time wasted and try to cram all of their teenage experiences into one year, or sometimes even one night. From what we remember about high school, we had plenty of formative experiences outside of senior year. It’s absolutely possible to make a movie about freshmen, sophom*ores, or juniors. So why don’t more filmmakers do it?
#13: The Cafeteria Seating Arrangement
Watching “Mean Girls” in 2004, you’d think that where you sat in the cafeteria would define your high school life for good. This, however, is not the case. Yet still, some teen movies still revolve around the idea that cafeteria seating is emblematic of your social station. In the movie “Sleepover,” the main characters make an entire bet revolving around where they’ll be able to sit in the cafeteria. This trope also treats the seating arrangement like it will be forever permanent. And yet, we distinctly remember moving around at lunchtime, and not being stuck to any seat in particular.
#12: Teachers Are an Entirely Different Species
We all had teachers who we loved and admired in high school. There are certainly many teachers who make an impact on their students, and we don’t mean to diminish that. But the thing that teen movies appear to forget is, most teachers fall pretty middle of the road, personality-wise. They’re not obsessed with their students, and they’re certainly not out to get them. But, from Ferris Bueller’s very first phone call begging off sick for the day, teachers in high school movies usually have extremely strong personalities. Whether it’s Ed Rooney vowing vengeance on a kid for faking sick, or Miss Fine literally going to a high school party and hooking up with a student, movie teachers are simply a different species.
#11: Larger Than Life Jerks
High schoolers can be especially cruel. While we’re certainly not saying that jerks like these don’t exist, we do think high school movies exacerbated our fear of them to a point that was a little unrealistic. Teen movie jerks, such as O’Bannion in “Dazed and Confused,” or Marianne Bryant in “Easy A,” seem to have personal vendettas against particular people. While bullies surely can decide to just pick on one person, high school movies had us believing that they only EVER pick on one person, and always in the most heinous way possible. It’s usually a lot more complex than these movies let on.
#10: Bye Bye Bye Virginity
The average age most people lose their virginity is roughly 17 years old. So, it’s understandable that teen movies spend a good amount of time talking about sex. However, high school cinema also would have you believe that losing your virginity is the ultimate goal for most teens. “American Pie” is probably one of the worst offenders of this trope, but it’s present all over the genre. Some movies update the stakes a bit, such as the “Easy A” scene where a student fakes losing their virginity to avoid rumors about their sexuality. But ultimately, the focus on the loss of virginity feels a bit more pronounced than it is in real life.
#9: Ivy League
Harvard. Yale. Stanford. If teen movies are anything to go by, high school students are applying to these schools and these schools only. However, in real life, most students do not attend ivy league schools for a variety of reasons. One of the worst offenders of this trope in recent memory is 2019’s “Booksmart.” The main characters, Molly and Amy, have abstained from partying in high school to get into ivies. They come to find out the kids who partied also got into ivies. While this is mostly played as a bit of a joke to spark the plot’s main action, it’s also absolutely ridiculous. Just the perfect encapsulation of this trope at work.
#8: Love Triangle
High school dating can be super dramatic, there’s no doubt. And, especially at a smaller school, it’s possible you and a friend might start crushing on the same person. But the over-the-top love triangles that capture our attention in movies like “The Half of It” and “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” usually don’t occur in reality. If high school cinema is anything to go by, we would also be falling in love with new people, and our love lives would forever be overlapping. While that might sustain a good dramatic plotline, it’s not so feasible in real life.
#7; The Big Proclamation
High schoolers aren’t necessarily the most verbose, or emotionally resonant people in the world. Promposals aside, they don’t tend to make grand proclamations of love, or wax poetic about life. At least, in real life. In movies, however, it’s a different story. In our favorite teen films, we’ve seen a lip sync for the ages that involve a marching band. We’ve seen a lovelorn teen apologize by stuffing Tic Tacs into a mailbox. We’ve seen a spring fling queen break her crown in parts to share it with everyone. And we’ve seen so much more. Why aren’t these wonderful dramatics happening in real life? Things sure would be greater if they were.
#6: Actors Who Aren’t Actually Teens
Remember watching your favorite teen movies and television shows as a kid, and thinking how much older you’d look when you were finally a teenager? Then, do you remember finally getting to high school and realizing that you looked nothing like the kids you saw on television? That’s because none of those teenagers were actually teens. Let’s go through some examples, shall we? In “Grease,” Stockard Channing was 33. In “Bring It On,” Gabrielle Union was 28. And in “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off,” Alan Ruck was 30. The list goes on and on. The trend of having older actors play teens has started to die down a bit, but it’s definitely one that gave us unrealistic expectations.
#5: Everyone Is in a Relationship
So many of us made it to high school thinking we would finally have the chance to start dating. But while everyone always seemed to have a significant other in high school movies, that wasn’t exactly the way real life turned out. In real life, you might have a couple of important relationships throughout your high school years. In movies, however, the characters are always dating around. If they break up with one person, they’re hopping over to the next immediately. No one is really ever single, unless, of course, it’s plot point and the person is going to end up with someone in the end.
#4: New Kid in Town
Some of us might remember the experience of having a new kid come to school, especially if our schools were very small. But, if you went to a large high school, you probably weren’t all that obsessed with a new presence in class. So, why is it that in every high school movie, the new kid is immediately the thing that everyone and their mother is talking about? Movies like “She’s the Man” and “Mean Girls” show us that the whole high school atmosphere revolves around the idea of the new kid. Even in movies like “John Tucker Must Die,” where the new kid starts out fairly anonymous, she still ends up pushing the narrative of the whole school.
#3: The Makeover for the Nerdy Girl
On to one of our problematic faves. Makeovers are an essential part of any teen movie, particularly if that teen movie centers around a “nerdy” girl. The makeover montage always takes the main character, willing or not, from frumpy nerd to certified hottie. Sometimes, this process involves nothing more than removing the girl’s glasses and running a brush through her hair. But, while this particular trope shows up over and over again in teenage cinema, we can’t think of one instance of it happening in real life. These movies had us believing that makeovers were an essential part of the high school ecosystem. Well, we’re still waiting on ours.
#2: The Nerd & the Jock
Makeovers might be one of the most unrealistic tropes in the high school cinema canon, but what they often lead to is even more unrealistic. More often than not in teen movies, kids are looking to date outside of their social circle. The best example of this phenomenon is the union of the nerd and the jock. From “She’s All That,” to “A Walk to Remember,” even to more modern entries like “To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before,” nerds and jocks are always coming together in romantic bliss. We may love to see this happen in movies, but we must admit it doesn’t happen that often in real life. Kids, no matter what clique they belong to, usually date within that circle.
#1: The Party
Now, we all went to parties in high school. But in teen movies, parties are a whole different animal. Because, there are parties, and then there’s THE party. So many parties in the teen cinema canon are billed as the moment where things get wild. Sometimes, it’s a movie like “Superbad,” where our main characters are jonesing to prove themselves at a big high school bash. Or sometimes, it’s a movie like “Project X,” where the whole point of the movie literally is to throw the wildest party around. However it’s used, the party is an essential part of teen movies. And yet, we’ve never been to a party even close to that level of crazy.
